Honestly I thought the first video I’d post of my daughter Journee would be one of immaculate lighting so you can see how intricately laid her edges are and how gorgeous her light and spirit is but I just catch these moments whenever they happen. Unrehearsed most times I’m in another room and hear her and see she’s with her baby sister. Or her baby as she calls her.
All I can do is thank God. That’s all I can do. I was attempting to clean up the house. Folding laundry (still not done) Answering business emails. Been in my workout clothes hoped to get a workout in..hasn’t happened yet. Repotting my plants (cause that brings me joy even though I don’t know what I’m doing) and Aria☀️ was having a fit just crying. Journee literally walked through the door, changed her clothes (cause we don’t do the outside clothes business in this house 😂) and picks her up and just sings her to soothe and calm her. I was wiping down the counters and grabbed my phone to capture this. It was too good. Blessed beyond belief. Blessed beyond these mom tears.
Having a teenager is TOUGH. Being a mom period isn’t easy. I want her to be her FULL self as a black Goddess in this sometimes cruel world. To give her space to be herself and to speak up and often because again this world may only always want to hear what she has to say. Sometimes as a mom/ bonus mom I feel like I can never get it right. I chose to work from home almost two years ago cause I wanted to be more PRESENT. I wanted to do a new thing as God was (is) working a new thing in me daily. Not that I wasn’t present working in corporate America but those stresses were messing with my mental health. I wanted to be able to be accessible at a drop of a dime. Make every game, practice, awards dinner, midday event be home at a decent time and before we did it all over again the next day all the things I missed or had to go through hoops just to get time off to be there for my kids. Feeling like I had to choose.
It was a hard decision to go from two solid incomes to 1 and new entrepreneur sometimes winging it, sometimes winning, sometimes over it! I had to believe in myself and my reason why. You’re looking at two of my reasons before you!
Sometimes people just don’t want to believe in themselves. They’re okay with not being ok because they’re so use to it or it’s all they know. It’s what they saw their momma do or the father or aunties and I didn’t want that for my kids or myself. I want my kids to know working hard looks different for everyone. To make hard choices and take risks to never live a life with regrets.
Everyday I wake up and thank God for a new day, ask for clarity, strength, courage and willingness to show up. To be a beckon of light. To be a word, confirmation, inspiration, motivation.
An example not to settle, not to give up, to be a reflection of what by faith looks like.
