“when did I become THAT MOM that pushes her children to do endless amount of activities to stimulate their growth and social skills or because we want them to excel at something they take a liking to and not lead by example”

Hey Beautiful People

I did it on Saturday that is :) 

For a little over a year my kids have been taking swim lessons. One day on my daughters make up class. They told me they pair her up with a class above her level because that’s all they had.  I watched her do things on the first try in her swim class. Her make up instructor waved over to ask what level she was in and learned she was two levels below and was doing what was asked of her. (I guess she does listen🙄)

POWER UP REMINDER: Believe it or not if you put yourself in a position to listen, observe and allow yourself to be coachable then you're in allow yourself to learn and attain knowledge no matter how “advanced” others seem to be around you.

But heres where I come into the scenario. As moms we pride ourselves on the activities our children do. Hear me out...Whether it be a soccer mom, track mom, baseball mom, swim or football mom...but that day as I watched her I had to take a step back and say when did I become THAT MOM that pushes her children to do endless amount of activities to stimulate their growth and social skills or because we want them to excel at something they take a liking to and not lead by example?

We put our children in activities because we know the end results and we believe in their greatness! I thought to myself I don't know how to swim to save my life. And I’ve always I’ve always wanted to learn how but I signed up my kids first...WHY is that? It wasn’t even like they asked. It was offered at the gym so I signed up our two younger children because the older two knew how and one was taking swim in school. Meanwhile I put me last...yet again cause that’s what we moms do right?
The same girl that loves the water, the same girl that literally hears waves speaking and calling her. The water-bearer.

Today I did it!!! I chose to lead. EXCITED, a little scared but willing to be coachable and try new things! Even after my lesson was over I practiced. We should want more for ourselves especially as mothers and caregivers. I was so ecstatic and nervous of course because it’s something new. It’s something I really want to excel at and maybe I feel like why did I wait so long to learn. But all those thoughts went out the window the minute I got into the water. I was thinking I wonder what people would think than I thought wait WHO CARES!

This time next year I won’t be just loving the idea of going to the beach and actually go into water. It’ll be a thing in the past that I watch my kids fearfully as they are fearless in the water. Maybe I won’t be that mother if they go too far in I won’t be screaming at the top of their lungs panicking (because I can’t save them)

2018 has been the dopest year thus far!!! I have taken leaps of faith like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve bet on me more than ever. I have taken so many chances and have just done a lot of things differently to say the least. This is MY YEAR!

Your coach...your soul sista...this beach lover...is about to FINALLY learn how to swim. I don’t expect it to be a quick process because letting go of fear can be a challenge but I’m so ready to lean in on the professionals and hope not to be a crazy student.

Cheers to truly living your life not just for social media but to really lead a life and lifestyle that you yourself can admire. Also show that all things are possible as long as you believe in you and take the necessary steps to keep living, and growing and never stop learning. 😘

“Moms. Bonus Moms. Creators. Queens
Don’t forget to breathe. Laugh, and smile often. You are a work in progress and learning while IN the process is a win. I see you. I am you.”

— Cathleen Benjamin

TRUTH MOMENT: I don’t have many pictures with me and baby Journee I can barely find any with her as a baby baby. And she was the cutest little creation. One of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.

POWER UP MOMENT: Moms. Bonus Moms. Creators. Queens
Don’t forget to breathe. Laugh, and smile often. You are a work in progress and learning while IN the process is a #win. I see you. I am you.

I’m sure we’ve all come a long way from who we were before we as mothers have taken on this title.

I’m sure we’ve all done a lot of healing from the day you found out you were going to have a miniature version of you, that time between labor and delivery, between kissing boo-boos and celebrating their birthdays at least we hope there has been some healing.

I’m also sure many of us are still healing even after so many birthdays have passed.

I remember when I first found out that I was with child with Journee (pronounced Journey) I was scared. My big sister was out of town. I remember calling her and not knowing how to put the words together. I certainly felt alone because not one of my peers were yet mothers. I had just gotten my bachelors degree and had no clue where life was taking me but I was unemployed and in my 20s still wanting to party and for all I knew my life would be over but this little crazy baby girl would be bringing new life to me and my entire family. Although there was still some residue left over so I had to get over my stuff real fast.

But somehow I found myself just constantly working on me. Falling short...falling off. Just falling many times. But the come back story is incredible and gets better every day and every year. Because I had Journee I learned so many lessons. It’s so funny that I named her Journee it was really because her father and I had pasts that nearly took of out and we thought we’d never come out of the fire until we found each other...again and then created her.

When I had Journee it was just her and I a lot. I took her everywhere with me. Kurt and I didn’t live together right away. With her I learned how to be present for her of course more than myself. As I've watched her grow into who she is, I've noticed that everything I’ve wanted to do or took an interest in even things I was too afraid to do she does and she excels at effortlessly. 

She’s been one of my greatest teachers in this life and of course in the world of parenting.

She’s strong and soft spoken and fearless and so dang gorgeous and she’s my baby girl. I remind her she can lean on me and doesn’t have to be strong all the time, a trait that she took on from me a trait that I’m learning that strength comes from vulnerability. Being too strong hurts more people in the grand scheme of things.  

Before I had Journee I always wanted to be sure before trying. Which could’ve prevented me fro becoming a mother because I didn’t know what I had to offer her, or if I could care for her as her mother. Thank God I was sure enough in the possibility of love after so much hurt. Thank God

Moms I hope you believe in magic. I sure do.  All women should. I mostly believe in you. 

Journee & Mommy circa 2005